Grief is real. For those coping with the loss of a loved one, the holidays may be filled with painful reminders, in place of joy. Traditions once enjoyed can be difficult.
Grief can seem fresh, even if the loss was not recent. Some find it comforting to be with family and friends, seeking support and embracing familiar traditions. Others may wish to avoid old traditions, try something new, or do nothing at all. Only you know you.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
CaringInfo.com suggests some ways to help you cope during this season
- Plan for the approaching holidays. Recognize that the holidays might be a difficult time for you. The stress may affect you emotionally, mentally, and physically. This is a normal reaction. Be prepared and gentle with yourself.
- Be aware that the holidays will not be the same. Expecting everything to seem the same might lead to disappointment. Doing things differently acknowledges the change in your life but still offers continuity with the past.
- Be careful not to isolate yourself. It is important to take quiet, reflective time for yourself but also to allow yourself the support offered by friends and family. If you cannot be together in person, telephone, Zoom, or Skype calls are a great way to stay in touch.
- The holidays may affect other family members. Talk over your plans and share your feelings. Respect others’ choices and needs.
- Avoid additional stress. Decide what you really want to do over the holiday season and permit yourself to avoid doing things you don’t want to do.
- Access online resources. There are several online communities where grief and loss are discussed:
- Modern Loss describes itself as “candid conversations about grief. Beginners welcome.”
- The Dinner Party is a community of 20 and 30-year-olds who have experienced loss.
- Option B is a rich source of information and discussions around grief, loss, and resilience.
- The Center for Loss and Life Transition is dedicated to helping people who are grieving and those who care for them. And finally, Grief.com provides resources from an expert on grief and loss
Tips When With Those Grieving
- Be willing to listen. Active listening from friends and family is an important step in helping individuals cope with grief and begin to heal. Do not tell those grieving to “get over it.” Instead, offer hope that, eventually, they will enjoy the holidays again.
- Follow up after the holidays to check-in. Given the activity of the season, some people may make it through the holidays without any concerns, but they might find the post-holiday period to be more difficult. Checking in with someone who is grieving after the holidays to see how he or she may be doing is helpful.
- Seek out Community Resources. Check with your local community for resources to help you.
Image by Andreas Lischka from Pixabay
Honoring You
I’ve learned that grief has no timeline, it is personal, and there are helpful resources to help when the time comes.
My work with The Living Planner is focused on planning for the unplanned while you are living. The experiences from working emergencies shaped my desire to acknowledge and allow the grief felt in the time immediately after loss.
If you want to reach out, pop me an Email or check out the website @ The Living Planner
Queen Elizabeth’s words after 9/11 come to mind to close this post “Grief is the price we pay for love” ❣️Lynn
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