When I think about the phrase give and receive help, I think of this quote: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” -African Proverb
I read an article posted on Harvard Business Review about this topic. Here is a summary from this article:
Although human beings are naturally social creatures, ready to both give and accept help, many of us struggle to ask for it, which over time can make us miserable and bitter. And because remote work is on the rise, leaving many of us isolated from colleagues, the challenges of asking for help have only intensified. To feel fulfilled and be successful both personally and professionally, it’s important to acknowledge and accept when you are working beyond your capacity and be open to asking others for help.
This phenomenon is not for work environments only. In our personal lives, many have found asking for help difficult. What stops us? Exploring Therapy.com explores this in depth on their website. My interpretation includes the following reasons below.
Concern about taking advantage of someone/others
Vulnerability
Will others judge me?
Tit for Tat – what will be asked of me?
Fear of rejection
Don’t wish to impose
Thinking I should do this
I “should” be able to do this – fear of incompetence
Practice asking with something small. When something is “small”, there isn’t a worry it is “too much”, which often stops us from asking.
I have to laugh because I am that person who isn’t great at asking for help. Yes, I’ve improved over the years and I keep practicing and learning about myself and others.
I’ve learned that as I love to give, others do too! When I don’t ask for help, I am not allowing others to give to me. It has been a good lesson and an opportunity to learn about myself.
Help Others
When you look for ways to help others, you learn what a pleasure it is to give and receive help! Connections are formed when we ask for and receive help.
Try Something When You Know You’ll Need Help
What can you try that you haven’t tried because you’re not sure if you can do it alone? Again, try something small where there are people to help you. I recently walked into a hardware store to talk to an associate and ask for help with a home project! I knew I needed and wanted help – I asked and received help!
Enlist People You Know Well
That home project I mentioned, well … thanks to the help of friends, it is complete! They are rockstars and my project is successfully finished!
Make Peace with Yourself
Whatever is holding you back from asking, clear it out and make peace with the fact that you are human. Lighten the load for yourself and enlist the help of others.
Beginner’s Mind
In Japanese, “Shoshin” (Beginner’s Mind) refers to a paradox: the more you know about a topic, the more likely you are to close your mind to further learning. Beginner’s Mind also applies more broadly to keeping your mind open to future learning in my humble opinion!
When learning is a lifelong pursuit, asking for help can be more natural. We all don’t know what we don’t know! That’s why I love learning the nuances of all aspects of daily life and how it relates to Contingency Planning. It allows me to give and receive help every day.
Preparing for contingency planning personally and for your business involves many components. Working with additional professionals to help formalize legal, financial, and policies can be daunting.
I’ll be your guide to help you understand the components and explain in “people-ease” what all of it means! If you’re interested in reviewing your details and outlining a plan for you, send me an Email or Message anytime!
